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Monday, July 7, 2014

The 10 Things I'm Tired of Seeing on Facebook

Yes folks, that is my actual "Joined Facebook" placard.  Hard to believe it's already been 5 years since I jumped on this crazy train.  It seems like only yesterday I asked someone what Facebook is and if I should join.

I'm not gonna lie, being a Facebook member has been a rewarding experience.  I get to keep up with my friends and family and they get to bear witness to my awesome adventures.  But there are days I log in and you can hear the sound I make when my face hits my palm from clear across the room.

All of you in Facebook-land who are probably reading this because my blog updates on my wall, I want you to know in advance (as sort of a disclaimer) that I love you guys.  I like to think we're friends for a reason.  But some of the stuff you guys post just has me like...ENOUGH!

So yeah, you didn't come here for this rant.  You came here for the OTHER rant.  So let us commence the list of the 10 things I'm tired of seeing on Facebook.

1.  People bitching about game requests

I think we've all see someone posting about game requests at some point.  There used to be a time when Facebook was a huge social hub for online games.  You don't see it as much now but there are people who still love them some Facebook games.  The reason this bugs me is if you're complaining about getting requests for games there's a 75% chance it's because at some point you actually opened the game.  That's all it takes for you to be added to your friend's list of people who also play the game.  So they innocently assume you're into what they're into and they'll fire away requests at you.  The other 25%, that's people actually being annoying and inviting you to play.  Still, the BIGGEST reason this bugs me is that it's sooo easy to just block a game one time and you'll never see any feedback from it EVER AGAIN.  It's like 2 or 3 mouseclicks!  My point: stop whining and take action.

2.  Wrongheaded partisan blog posts passed off as real news

I've learned a long time ago that people can get really heated on Facebook when it comes to politics.  I actually used to write a lot about politics until I got tired of dealing with knuckleheads who can't disagree without being disagreeable.  These days I read over political posts, I might chime in for a sec and maybe I might like a couple comments but on my own wall nuh-uh.  Hey, this is America.  If you hate Obama and love posting all the negative news stories about him go right ahead.  But for the sake of sweet baby Jesus could you at least share REAL NEWS.  Blog posts are opinion...and everybody has one.  There's no fact-checking on blog posts.  Blog posts are immune from actual journalistic standards.  Try this as a test:  You really like that blog post?  Do a Google search for whatever the post is about.  If you can't find at least one credible news source with the same topic, it's probably BS.

3.  Satire passed off as real news

This one has taken on a life of its own recently.  I think at least once a day I see a post where someone is all distressed of complete works of fiction (and I'm not talking about Twilight fans).  The Onion, The Daily Currant, World News Daily, they're all satire sites but they do a really good job of fooling people into thinking their stories are real.  So much so that even real news outlets get fooled.

4.  Hoaxes (especially really old hoaxes)

Here's a brief list of things that you might of saw or read that actually didn't happen:  Nobody can pop popcorn using just their cell phones, Bill Gates will not give you money for sharing a photo and neither will Southwest Airlines give you tickets for sharing theirs, the minimum drinking age is not being moved to 25, you cannot summon the police by entering your ATM PIN backwards and you're friends are not stranded in a foreign country where they need you to wire them money.  Do some research before you share something that seems to outlandish to be true.

5.  The obligatory "Share This If..." posts

WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!

6. TV/Movie Spoilers

If you watch a show and at miss it, if at least 10 of your friends watch the same show just don't log on to Facebook until you seen the show.  There will be spoilers.  People WILL live blog what their watching.  This is why I got a Hulu account.  If only they could get Walking Dead on Hulu.  Then my life would be perfect. :)

7. My friends in flame wars over stupid shit

Really, you're better than that.

8.  Those games where you have to post something stupid if you comment or like a friend's post

These games are stupid and disingenuous to your friends. Any of these look familiar: 1) Damn diarrhea 2)Just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket. 3)Anyone have a tampon. I'm out. 4) How do you get rid of foot fungus. 5)Why is nobody around when l am horny? 6) No toilet paper, goodbye socks. 7)Someone offered me a job as a prostitute but l' m hesitant. 8)l think l'm in love with someone what should l do? 9)l've decided to stop wearing underwear. 10)l still love my ex. 11) l really don't know how to tell anyone and l'm sick of hiding it l'm gay. 12) Guess it was 2 good 2 be true l'm pregnant. 13)Just won $7000 on a scratchy. 14)l've just found out l've been cheated on for the past 5 months.

Stop.  Just stop.  I tried to play along one, but it was just too stupid to keep the charade up.  Oh and you're not doing a damn thing for Breast Cancer Awareness by playing this game.  Don't delude yourself.

9. Babies

I don't know if I'm just noticing it more or we're in the middle of the next baby boom but I swear I see a new baby in my timeline every day.  I'm very happy for you and your family though.  I'm just being crotchety at this point.

10.  People who post long lists about things they're tired of seeing on Facebook

.....I'm pretty sure I must be the first.  Right? :D

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