Friday, March 29, 2013

Yearly Good Friday Rant

So this actually exists in Virgin Islands law.  I'll quote it verbatim:

Distilled liquor and drinks prepared therewith shall not be served in public places of refreshments between the hours of 9:00 o'clock in the morning and 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon on Good Friday. Whoever violates this subsection shall be fined not more than $200 or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.
For one day, for seven whole hours, the Virgin Islands is "dry".  Now you would think this is some stupid old law that we don't really care about like that old seduction law
§ 1981.  Seduction under promise to marry

  Whoever, under promise of marriage, seduces and has sexual intercourse with an unmarried female of previous chaste character, shall be fined not more than $2,000 or imprisoned not more than 3 years, or both.
Seriously, if we were really enforcing this law there would be a lot of dudes here standing before the judge.

Unfortunately we actually are taking this stupid, stupid law seriously.  We get notices about it every year and, to date, no one has ever addressed taking this law off the books.  Here's a short list of exactly why this law is stupid.
  1. It violates separation of church and state.
    The law reeks of Catholicism and it forces everyone to follow a Catholic doctrine regardless of what religion one personally follows.  That said...
  2. It's unconstitutional
    Yep, this is a clear violation of the First Amendment of the US Constitution  It's clearly written in the text:  Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
  3. It costs us money
    People come hear on vacation to relax and unwind and you tell them you can't serve them any liquor?  Tourism where the heck are you on this!?!?
  4. It costs taxpayer money
    We've got people on the government dime actually trying to enforce this foolishness.  Go figure.
  5. You can't catch everyone
    You have any ideas how many bars we have in these islands.  It's literally impossible to visit each and every bar within the 7 hour period to make sure everyone's following the law.
Ok, I could go on and on about this but it's going to be gone again in about 2 hours so whatever.  On principle I'll be taking a shot of Jager at 4PM on the dot.  Suck it DCLA!

Come to daddy!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

HBOMB, Trivia Commissioner?

Can you find me in the picture?  I'm actually right at the center (it's uncanny how often that happens).  Well that's me at my favorite hangout doing one of my favorite things: playing Buzztime Trivia.  About a year ago we used to have weekly trivia tournaments on Thursday nights.  When it first started it was pretty big.  There were times if you got there too late you didn't get a Playmaker.

Behold! A Playmaker!
With time, changing time zones, the reduction of prizes, and yours truly usually being the top contender popularity for the weekly contest tapered.  We kept a long standing policy that if enough people played on Thursday nights that at the very least the winner of each game got a free shot.

I looks like Trivia might be coming back though.  Eric at the Rock propositioned me to be sort of the organizer for a new Trivia contest.  We're moving the event to Wednesday nights.  Right now that means the participating games are SciFiles, Six, Pastimes and Lexitopia.  The format is still being worked up as well as which and how prizes are awarded.  I'll be recusing myself from the game to handle the outside particulars and there's a chance I may MC and DJ the event.

Our target date for the first round is March 20, 2013.  And if you didn't catch the place, it's going to be at The Rock Bar and Gaming.  If you love trivia this could be a whole lot of fun.

Who's HBOMB?  Me, of course.  That's my screen name.
Someday they'll let me put glasses on this guy.  Someday.

Monday, March 11, 2013

7 TV Shows You Didn't Know Had Longer Themes

Ok, before I begin I just want everyone to know that I am definitely ripping off the theme of posts that show up on Cracked.  I'm a member on Cracked and requested developer access but to date all I've done are several failed Photoplasty entries and a couple of idea submission.  It's freaking hard to gain any sort of acceptance on that site so kudos to anyone who's ever had anything published there.

That out of the way, you guys know I'm in the karaoke biz and often times when people know they have no musical aptitude whatsoever they'll go with a TV theme which are pretty easy to sing.  They're also really short so you only have to embarrass yourself for about a minute (Where's the fun in that?).  It's a little known fact though that some TV shows have full length songs that you probably never heard.  So here we go.

1.  Bonanza (by Lorne Greene)

Surprised?  Bonanza is one of those generational songs that everyone has heard at least once.  But the version you hear is always the instrumental.  Here's the original.

Turns out though this song totally had lyrics. Here's the full version.

I had to list this one first because to this day people still call bullshit when I tell them Bonanza has lyrics.

2.  Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (by too many people than I can credit here)

Yes there's a full Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers theme.  Don't act like you didn't watch it.  And yes, the full theme is frickin' awesome.  The guitar riff alone just makes you want to get up and kick ass.

3. Cheers (by Gary Portnoy)

Funny story.  Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo wrote a string of rejected theme songs for different NBC series before "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" got picked up for Cheers.  The song is iconic to bars everywhere now but the full version of the song borders on hilarity (it's still good though).  Check it out.

4. Growing Pains (by I'm sending you to Wikipedia on this one)

Stunningly there were NINE versions "As Long As We've Got Each Other".  That's two more versions than this show had seasons.  It's been an ongoing rumor that Alan Thicke sang the theme song but I think that's just people trying to retroactively pass on the credit for his son's R&B singing career.

5. The Big Bang Theory (by Barenaked Ladies)

I had to throw in at least one modern theme song.  Chances are you've never heard the full version because the intro is only about 30 seconds.  Barenaked Ladies stuff here reminds me a lot of They Might Be Giants.

6.  Family Guy (by Seth MacFarlane)

Please tell me I just blew your mind with this one.  Seriously, even I didn't know there was a full theme until I started writing this. In the full version, the full cast get to sing and have longer lines.

7. Angel (by Darling Violetta)

Someday I'll get around to exploring this little section of the Whedonverse, but I'm pretty familiar with the theme song...because it's awesome.  The original is called "The Sactuary".  Below is "The Sactuary, Extended Remix".

****Update March 11, 2013**** 
I actually heard from one of the creators of this piece and he noted that what you hear on the show was originally all there was.  This was produced for the soundtrack album.  It still works for my list.  Even the full Family Guy theme was release a 7 years after the show went live.

For a list of more extended theme songs, here's a good website to check out.  I know I skipped a bunch.  Let me know if you run across any other interesting ones.