Friday, March 29, 2013

Yearly Good Friday Rant

So this actually exists in Virgin Islands law.  I'll quote it verbatim:

Distilled liquor and drinks prepared therewith shall not be served in public places of refreshments between the hours of 9:00 o'clock in the morning and 4:00 o'clock in the afternoon on Good Friday. Whoever violates this subsection shall be fined not more than $200 or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.
For one day, for seven whole hours, the Virgin Islands is "dry".  Now you would think this is some stupid old law that we don't really care about like that old seduction law
§ 1981.  Seduction under promise to marry

  Whoever, under promise of marriage, seduces and has sexual intercourse with an unmarried female of previous chaste character, shall be fined not more than $2,000 or imprisoned not more than 3 years, or both.
Seriously, if we were really enforcing this law there would be a lot of dudes here standing before the judge.

Unfortunately we actually are taking this stupid, stupid law seriously.  We get notices about it every year and, to date, no one has ever addressed taking this law off the books.  Here's a short list of exactly why this law is stupid.
  1. It violates separation of church and state.
    The law reeks of Catholicism and it forces everyone to follow a Catholic doctrine regardless of what religion one personally follows.  That said...
  2. It's unconstitutional
    Yep, this is a clear violation of the First Amendment of the US Constitution  It's clearly written in the text:  Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
  3. It costs us money
    People come hear on vacation to relax and unwind and you tell them you can't serve them any liquor?  Tourism where the heck are you on this!?!?
  4. It costs taxpayer money
    We've got people on the government dime actually trying to enforce this foolishness.  Go figure.
  5. You can't catch everyone
    You have any ideas how many bars we have in these islands.  It's literally impossible to visit each and every bar within the 7 hour period to make sure everyone's following the law.
Ok, I could go on and on about this but it's going to be gone again in about 2 hours so whatever.  On principle I'll be taking a shot of Jager at 4PM on the dot.  Suck it DCLA!

Come to daddy!

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