Ok, you remember I had initially ordered a PC-to-AV cable and figured out it wasn't what I needed. Well I took a stab in the dark and hoped my HDMI adapter on my PC was much smarter than it actually turned out to be. Yep, this is what I got:
BZZZZT! Nope nope nope! The HDMI didn't even detect, but the VGA did...but when I plugged it in there was no output.
So, time to stop playing El Cheapo and look for a PC-to-TV converter.